Proposition 8 - What needs to be said

Like many others, I have become very interested not only in the outcome of the most recent election, but the wave of protests against the outcome.

I was involved in the Prop 8 campaign and I have spent many hours reflecting on the many arguments and concerns brought up by both sides of the issue.

The courts, judges, taxes, schools, rights, etc. have been hashed over and gone back and forth many times, but what seems to be missed is the issue of morality.

Californias had a rare opportunity to vote on an issue that did effect the marital union between homosexual couples, but morality was the basis for the religious response to the proposition.

Fears of tax exemption and child education are valid concerns, but when an issue arrises that seems to transcend the typical political agendas, isn't a religious individual or organization obligated to define their position and support it?

I understand that many people don't see this as an issue of morality; they see it as an issue of equal rights. That being said, if a person or organization believes that immorality (sexual relations outside of marriage) is wrong, then they have the right to vote and support that issue as much or as little as they choose. Furthermore, if they believe that marriage is reserved for a man and a woman, they can support that (and everything that goes along with that) as well.

If a proposition was placed on the ballot that required all dog-owners to spay or neuter their pet, the people in favor of the proposition have the right to support it as they will. Those who oppose it have the same right. Such it is with any issue given a place to be voted upon by the people. And after the people have spoken, we must adhere to the outcome because that is the system we follow.

It is interesting that many of the protestors against Prop 8 hale the system when it is in their favor and curse it as they find themselves in the slim minority. Think of the praises and support that the opposers of Prop 8 would be giving to our electoral system if they were in the majority. It is unfortunate that the game is played whole-heartedly until the tides turn in the favor of the opposite side.

About a year ago, I made a decision about the way I was going to live my life. If I support something, then I am going to do what I can to truly support it. If I oppose it, then I will do what I can to appropriately fight against it. Passivity in life seems to be of little worth when trying to move in a direction you feel is right. When it was announced that marriage would (once again) be voted on in California's general election, I immediately knew how I felt and how I would vote. My next thought was, "How will my gay friends react to my decision?"

I realized that I could not convince every gay person that my motives were strictly a matter of morality. I also realized that when an issue is so closely connected to personal beliefs and feelings, it is hard to honor the freedom of the opposition without taking it personally. I was amazed at how this proposition polarized so many people. It is unfortunate that it seemed to incorrectly resolve to the cries of hate and discrimination. Loving our fellow man is not the same as accepting a lifestyle believed to be incorrect and in opposition to moral standing. It is possible (and Christian) to be able to sincerely love a person while disagreeing with behaviors you feel to be contrary to Christian principles. I believe this is how God intended man to interact.

I have friends who are gay that I like very much and hope them the best in their lives. I believe that if you asked my gay friends how I felt about them, hate and discrimination would not be the verbs they would use even though I was very active in the "Yes on Prop 8" campaign.

Why is this? Because I see this as a moral issue, not a tax or a civil rights issue. I also don't see this as a "my gay friends" issue either and I don't believe that they are "bad" people or at least any worse than me. I do believe that homosexuality is an unacceptable lifestyle, but I consistently see flaws and unacceptabilities in my own conduct. If there was a proposition against using fowl language, procrastination, short-temperedness or impatience, then I would be in the guilty party from time to time. Though when I go to exercise my right to vote, my heart will have to vote in-favor of the proposition because everything I believe and hold to be true tells me that it is the right thing to do. I respect my friends and their decision to live as they will. I do not see myself as better than them and I believe they know this. I am grateful for friends who are so accepting and respectful of my personal beliefs. I return the acceptance with love and when we go to vote, we do so according to what we personally believe is best.

Such it is with Proposition 8. It is not a matter of "H8." It is a matter of morality.

Ups and Downs

i've memorized this life
i know its ins and outs
i know its complications
i know its fears and doubts

i know this life has felt some love
its also felt some pain
its basked in the purest clarity
then struggled to be sane

this life has seen its ups and downs
but truth restored does show
that life, without its sun and rain,
could never really grow

rob

Direction v. Location

When I about 16, I was involved in the Boy Scouts. On one trip, we were going to do a hike that consisted of going to a couple of different lakes and then ending up back at our cars at camp. From this point, this story could go a lot of different ways! We had a leader severely sprain his ankle mid-way through the hike, we camped right next to a group of foreign college students who... didn't share our same standards of modesty, we even ran out of water and filtered our own.

As many different stories exist from this trip that could be shared, I want to share my experience going from Weaver Lake to Jenny Lake.

When we were deciding to make the hike from Weaver Lake to Jenny Lake, we looked at our map and decided that we could probably find a better way. We had our compasses. We had a detailed map. We thought we were completely prepared and safe to make our own way.

We started off on the marked trail and then decided to go off the path and try a different way. After about two hours, we started to get nervous. We believed that we were traveling in the right direction, but nothing looked right. Even though we started out, confident that we could find our way to our destination, we never suspected that leaving the path would create so many unexpected challenges. The map we had became very confusing. The direction we headed had many obstacles that were not detailed on the map. Rocks, heavy forest, steep inclines.

We did end up making it to Jenny Lake, but it was much later than we planned and everyone was exhausted.

You are probably way ahead of me by now.

Life is very similar. At least it is in my case. Most of the issuses and struggles that I have our present as a result of me trying to do things my way and not the right way. I know the right way. I have multiple examples in my life of people that have made good decisions and stayed on the marked path. It has been said that, "Experience is the best teacher, but fools will learn by no other way."

Besides all of that, perhaps the most important lesson of this whole thing is "direction."

The comforting thing is that all of us take our own way some times. We are imperfect beings. That is just the way things go. This being said, I believe that life is less about where we are on the map and more about which direction we are heading. Like I said in the story, we eventually made our destination, but we had to go through some things that we all wished we could have avoided by staying on the path.

But that is life.

We learn and we move on, taking a lesson from our choices. It doesn't matter where we are in comparison to anyone else. It matters where we are in comparison to ourselves! In other words... in life, direction is more important than location.

Just a thought.

Let me know what you think.

Elephants

The title of my page (which very well might change) is currently, "Naming the elephants." I have this as my title for two reasons; First, I believe that in life, work, and in professional and personal relationships there could (and probably does exist) "elephants" or issues. The term "elephants" comes from the saying, "There is an elephant in the room and no one is talking about it." The same silence is present about the issues facing our working environment and even our most cherished relationships.

I am no stranger to these elephants... or in other words... I am no stranger to silencing issues or problems. On the other hand, I have also been a recipient of the silence that ignored elephants can cause... but that is another story.

Ignoring elephants or issues in our lives can only lead to unstable relationships in our homes and at work. Elephants create insecurity and invite incorrect assumptions. These things are relationship and organizational poison.

So what is the point of all this?

Talk about the elephants!

Create a time... or a place... or a forum where penalties won't be ensued for talking about the issues that are facing you! Make sure that is a safe time and place, where all parties feel secure about their personal feelings and not attacked for bringing them up.

If it is a personal relationship, then perhaps a preliminary meeting needs to happen. Maybe you could present it as, "Now probably isn't a great time to talk about it, but I have been having some problems lately about how we haven't really spent much time together the past few weeks. Could we talk about that tonight?" This might be the best example for every situation, but the point is that you don’t want to spring an elephant on someone.

People need some time to process the situation before they can really talk about an issue that is effecting their relationship.

It is especially difficult if one of the involved parties refuses to acknowledge the elephant. Continued refusal to address issues in any interpersonal relationship results in its deterioration.

In the work environment, it is just as important to address the elephants. Depending on the issues, anonymity may be the most important factor in discovering the elephants... even though the need of anonymity could be an elephant in and of itself. Employees want to know that they can speak openly and freely without the fear of being reprimanded by those in authority.

The moral of the blog... open up and be honest with each other. Don't let good things dissolve due to the lack of appropriate communication.

In the beginning...

I am not much of a "blogger." I actually read very few blogs of friends or family.... that being said, I don't really expect anyone to read mine. I am 100% okay with that. My reason for creating a blog is not because I feel that my voice needs to be heard, but this gives me an excuse to review what is going on in my life and consolidate it into a text format. I could just write in a word document... but this is the 21st century... I figure I'll just create a blog.

Another reason that I am creating a blog is to provide a place for myself to develop thoughts about certain topics or situations that are going on around me... and probably you! If I know that there is even a slight possibility that my words could be read, then I am going to hold myself more accountable for what I "publish."

For now... I will leave this preliminary blog with this quote:

"We must never forget that we may also find meaning in life even when confronted with a hopeless situation, when facing a fate that cannot be changed. For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement. When we are no longer able to change a situation--just think of an incurable disease [...]--we are challenged to change ourselves."~Viktor E. Frankl