The title of my page (which very well might change) is currently, "Naming the elephants." I have this as my title for two reasons; First, I believe that in life, work, and in professional and personal relationships there could (and probably does exist) "elephants" or issues. The term "elephants" comes from the saying, "There is an elephant in the room and no one is talking about it." The same silence is present about the issues facing our working environment and even our most cherished relationships.I am no stranger to these elephants... or in other words... I am no stranger to silencing issues or problems. On the other hand, I have also been a recipient of the silence that ignored elephants can cause... but that is another story.
Ignoring elephants or issues in our lives can only lead to unstable relationships in our homes and at work. Elephants create insecurity and invite incorrect assumptions. These things are relationship and organizational poison.
So what is the point of all this?
Talk about the elephants!
Create a time... or a place... or a forum where penalties won't be ensued for talking about the issues that are facing you! Make sure that is a safe time and place, where all parties feel secure about their personal feelings and not attacked for bringing them up.
If it is a personal relationship, then perhaps a preliminary meeting needs to happen. Maybe you could present it as, "Now probably isn't a great time to talk about it, but I have been having some problems lately about how we haven't really spent much time together the past few weeks. Could we talk about that tonight?" This might be the best example for every situation, but the point is that you don’t want to spring an elephant on someone.
People need some time to process the situation before they can really talk about an issue that is effecting their relationship.
It is especially difficult if one of the involved parties refuses to acknowledge the elephant. Continued refusal to address issues in any interpersonal relationship results in its deterioration.
In the work environment, it is just as important to address the elephants. Depending on the issues, anonymity may be the most important factor in discovering the elephants... even though the need of anonymity could be an elephant in and of itself. Employees want to know that they can speak openly and freely without the fear of being reprimanded by those in authority.
The moral of the blog... open up and be honest with each other. Don't let good things dissolve due to the lack of appropriate communication.
