This past week

This past week, I feel that I have been rather short with people. It isn’t intentional, so anyone reading this who ended up in my cross-hairs this week… sorry. This being said, I think that I am starting to understand a little more about the importance of my interpersonal relationships.

For the first couple days of my week, I went along my destructive path, only noticing my “bad mood” or insensitive comments after they had escaped my mouth. Immediately, I would think, “That isn’t like me to say something like that.” I made an especially hurtful comment toward my brother, Matt; earlier in the week that I’m sure he doesn’t dwell on yet it bothers me all the same.

After realizing my tactlessness towards my loved ones, I almost felt more weight on my shoulders to both make amends and drastically change this vicious attitude from which I knew not the source. Though I recognized clearly the flaws in my behavior, an instantaneous change seemed confusing at best. I have taught classes and lessons on how to change and be positive, but this somehow begged an atypical approach. What has consistently worked in the past for me obviously didn’t seem to fit the prescription for my current ailment.

I wish I could report that the second half of my week had a drastically positive upturn, but this is not the case. I feel that my poor mind-set this week has been the result of a very intrinsic deficiency. Spiritual and maybe even psychologically based, though the two rarely seem to stray from each other. With the discovery of said deficiencies, I feel the best course of action would be to retire to prayer and meditation. Though I feel this the best course of action… I have yet to engage.

Four paragraphs into this blog, I have realized what I need to write and what thought I need to develop.

Many times throughout my life, I have held myself (and those I love) to unrealistic standards. While I feel that I have learned to grant allowances to others, I may still be harboring an array of impracticable expectations for myself. These expectations being coupled with the personal disappointment which accompany the unmet expectations.

Though lofty at best, these expectations may be realistic in a more appropriate timetable. The difficulty is learning to live in a world that outwardly promotes flexibility and independence from social pressure while nurturing a culture filled with supposed expiration dates. Separating ourselves from the unneeded pressure of instant decisions and immediate Google answers will allow us the freedom of factoring LIFE into our master plan.

My new plan… love people (and don't be a jerk)… don’t be overly tough on myself (but don’t digress!)… live life (but don't lose sight of values).

I think that's a good start.

The Problem With Mirrors

What mirrors don’t show you is everything else.

For years I have often reflected (no pun intended) on the poem “The Man in the Glass,” author anonymous. I haven’t given too much thought to it because I have felt its message to generally be true; looking ourselves in the face will ultimately be our final judge in life.


That being said, this concept can only take us so far. I still believe that at the end of the day we will know our own faults and successes better than anyone, however the mirror misses some very important aspects of what make us… US.

The mirror fails to include our loved ones. While we toil away, judging what we see in the mirror, our loved ones can see us in perspective. Where we look at ourselves and see a series of events that have produced our reflections, our loved ones see value exposed. They don’t whittle away our good characteristics, but they allow a culmination of factors to determine their final opinion. Which final opinion is love unconditioned… which is why they are “loved ones.”

Another problem with mirrors is that they only show us, what I am calling, “discriminating value.” I am reaching beyond the physical when I say this, because rarely the problem with a persons reflection to them is physical… even when they may only believe it to be physical. It is a widely accepted fact that people who suffer from eating disorders have a physiological deficiency coupled with a physical acceptance. This being believed, the discriminating value I am referring to is that, depending on our perception of self worth, we tend to believe that issues in the mirror “are closer than they appear.” While this may be true on vehicles, we fail to see ourselves in the same perspective as others.

I would be the first person admitting to my personal imperfection. There are many things I believe I could compound on myself many mistakes in regards to poor, missed, or abused choices. Allowing these things to stack up would be extremely daunting and, to be quite honest, I have let these things stack up from time to time. While these moments of self-reflection can be launching pads into new and exciting experiences, the choice of what we see lies on our side of the mirror.

Another aspect the mirror fails to show us is the future. Unless we posses some magical mirror, similar to the Queen’s mirror in “Snow White,” our future remains undetermined. From the moment we leave the mirrors selective reflection, we create our experience. Happiness, security and (dare I say..) love, will not come to us like an unsuspected meteor headed towards earth’s surface, but will largely be the result of “line upon line” positive choices made after we leave the mirrors judgment. Wallowing in the mirrors discriminating value may skew our perception of reality.

Negating important and even vital aspects our physical reflection fails to project is similar to a jury throwing out evidence to a case. The difference is… we are the jury, the defendant, the prosecution and the judge. As we plead our case in front of life’s mirror, remember to include all the evidence.

Questions

After a rather arduous day, I settled on reading some random philosophical essays on ethics, politics, global wealth, and religion. This may not have been the best literary choice I have made, in regards to timing. I found myself with more questions than answers not to mention a headache… however; this headache may have partly been the remnants of a glaucoma test earlier in the day.

So here are the questions I actually wrote down and plan on exploring. I believe these will likely be the basis of future blogs, but for now I am content with simply making a list of questions in no particular order of importance.

Questions:

1. What constitutes intelligence?

2. What makes up an intelligent person?

3. Do we, as human beings, have the equal moral obligation to help others as well as do no harm?

4. Is it possible to truly, completely and honestly love those who not only see the world differently, but who adhere to radically different beliefs? (Example: Could a Christian truly love and even accept an Atheist?)

5. Is it morally permissible to only serve “your own” or a small, select group of people?

6. Is a Labor and Production or Poverty revolution in the future of the United States of America?

7. Is there a moral aspect to how we choose to spend our money?

8. Who is certified to determine “justice” and what qualifies the conclusion thereof?







I’m sure more questions are to come… and I hope the questions never stop. I hope that I continue to think of questions and to seek the answers relying on a world of resources.

In speaking with a good friend recently, I realized just how much information and truth is available to those who seek it. Focusing less on origin and more on the relevancy will provide us with the most accurate and holistic view of the world in which we live.

John Godfrey Saxe's (1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend, "The Blind Men and the Elephant"


It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL.

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

The Principle of "Due Reflection"

I recently read the following words which provoked this blog:

“An aversion to instant acceptance is really only honoring the principle of “due reflection.” (Yogananda 1946)

I spent a little more time trying to find more articles or publications on this principle, but have only found it referenced in the before mentioned book. This principle seems very applicable to me at this time in my life. Recently, I have had to make some important decisions that possess the potential of effecting the direction and quality of my life. I have also had the privilege of conversing with a number of close friends and relatives who have been very helpful.

Though I have since followed through with these specific decisions, the actual conclusions have been just as important as the process utilized in their formulation. If one of our main directives in life is to learn all that we can (a belief in which I am in complete agreement), then it is only logical to dedicate “due reflection” before and after decisions have been made.

One of the first steps in honoring the principle of due reflection is determining your values. Solidifying your personal morals and knowing what is most important in your life will eliminate a number of options that will never get you what you want. As you reflect on the many possibilities that life presents to us, reducing the choices that do not reflect our values will greatly elevate our likelihood of satisfaction.

After removing options that do not meet our moral standard, it is imperative to search both your emotions and your logic. The Doctrine and Covenants says, “…I will tell you in your mind and heart…” (D&C 8:2) Following only your heart or only your mind will create problems in the long-run. Leaping into a decision based strictly on emotional triggers is a risky situation. Solely emotional decisions (excluding logic or apparent “red flags”) require continuous replenishment and constant stimuli to be sustained. On the other hand, decisions based purely on a logical foundation (negating emotional sustenance) will likely feel empty and longing. Decisions made honoring both mind and heart are most likely to produce satisfactory outcomes.

Though the original quote at the beginning of this blog referred to pre-decision making, constant reflection is required to continue on a path that leads to happiness and positive edification. A friend of mine once told me, “On the way to something good, something better can happen.” This suggests that even though decisions can be appropriately processed and executed, there is nothing wrong with adjustments if it produces a better outcome.

One last though is that “due reflection” should also be accompanied with an appropriate statute of limitations in regards to time spent in the reflection stage. Action on a decision will ultimately determine the success or failure we will experience. Vincent van Gogh said, “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.”

Through applying the principle of due reflection in our lives, we can take control of valuable time that is too often spent backpedaling. Great things are out there and they are only a series of decisions away.

Think it through.

Act.

What are we waiting for?