This past week

This past week, I feel that I have been rather short with people. It isn’t intentional, so anyone reading this who ended up in my cross-hairs this week… sorry. This being said, I think that I am starting to understand a little more about the importance of my interpersonal relationships.

For the first couple days of my week, I went along my destructive path, only noticing my “bad mood” or insensitive comments after they had escaped my mouth. Immediately, I would think, “That isn’t like me to say something like that.” I made an especially hurtful comment toward my brother, Matt; earlier in the week that I’m sure he doesn’t dwell on yet it bothers me all the same.

After realizing my tactlessness towards my loved ones, I almost felt more weight on my shoulders to both make amends and drastically change this vicious attitude from which I knew not the source. Though I recognized clearly the flaws in my behavior, an instantaneous change seemed confusing at best. I have taught classes and lessons on how to change and be positive, but this somehow begged an atypical approach. What has consistently worked in the past for me obviously didn’t seem to fit the prescription for my current ailment.

I wish I could report that the second half of my week had a drastically positive upturn, but this is not the case. I feel that my poor mind-set this week has been the result of a very intrinsic deficiency. Spiritual and maybe even psychologically based, though the two rarely seem to stray from each other. With the discovery of said deficiencies, I feel the best course of action would be to retire to prayer and meditation. Though I feel this the best course of action… I have yet to engage.

Four paragraphs into this blog, I have realized what I need to write and what thought I need to develop.

Many times throughout my life, I have held myself (and those I love) to unrealistic standards. While I feel that I have learned to grant allowances to others, I may still be harboring an array of impracticable expectations for myself. These expectations being coupled with the personal disappointment which accompany the unmet expectations.

Though lofty at best, these expectations may be realistic in a more appropriate timetable. The difficulty is learning to live in a world that outwardly promotes flexibility and independence from social pressure while nurturing a culture filled with supposed expiration dates. Separating ourselves from the unneeded pressure of instant decisions and immediate Google answers will allow us the freedom of factoring LIFE into our master plan.

My new plan… love people (and don't be a jerk)… don’t be overly tough on myself (but don’t digress!)… live life (but don't lose sight of values).

I think that's a good start.

The Problem With Mirrors

What mirrors don’t show you is everything else.

For years I have often reflected (no pun intended) on the poem “The Man in the Glass,” author anonymous. I haven’t given too much thought to it because I have felt its message to generally be true; looking ourselves in the face will ultimately be our final judge in life.


That being said, this concept can only take us so far. I still believe that at the end of the day we will know our own faults and successes better than anyone, however the mirror misses some very important aspects of what make us… US.

The mirror fails to include our loved ones. While we toil away, judging what we see in the mirror, our loved ones can see us in perspective. Where we look at ourselves and see a series of events that have produced our reflections, our loved ones see value exposed. They don’t whittle away our good characteristics, but they allow a culmination of factors to determine their final opinion. Which final opinion is love unconditioned… which is why they are “loved ones.”

Another problem with mirrors is that they only show us, what I am calling, “discriminating value.” I am reaching beyond the physical when I say this, because rarely the problem with a persons reflection to them is physical… even when they may only believe it to be physical. It is a widely accepted fact that people who suffer from eating disorders have a physiological deficiency coupled with a physical acceptance. This being believed, the discriminating value I am referring to is that, depending on our perception of self worth, we tend to believe that issues in the mirror “are closer than they appear.” While this may be true on vehicles, we fail to see ourselves in the same perspective as others.

I would be the first person admitting to my personal imperfection. There are many things I believe I could compound on myself many mistakes in regards to poor, missed, or abused choices. Allowing these things to stack up would be extremely daunting and, to be quite honest, I have let these things stack up from time to time. While these moments of self-reflection can be launching pads into new and exciting experiences, the choice of what we see lies on our side of the mirror.

Another aspect the mirror fails to show us is the future. Unless we posses some magical mirror, similar to the Queen’s mirror in “Snow White,” our future remains undetermined. From the moment we leave the mirrors selective reflection, we create our experience. Happiness, security and (dare I say..) love, will not come to us like an unsuspected meteor headed towards earth’s surface, but will largely be the result of “line upon line” positive choices made after we leave the mirrors judgment. Wallowing in the mirrors discriminating value may skew our perception of reality.

Negating important and even vital aspects our physical reflection fails to project is similar to a jury throwing out evidence to a case. The difference is… we are the jury, the defendant, the prosecution and the judge. As we plead our case in front of life’s mirror, remember to include all the evidence.